Woa! I didnt see that comeing.

Woa! I didnt see that comeing!
Okay so now im single. Usually I would be kinnda happy, but right now I dont know how to feel. I felt like I was giving my all, but my all was just not enought.
When it happend, I felt like i was left not being understood. He told me i didnt talk to him enough when I finnaly did I guess he couldnt take it and just left me. Im guessing it was for the best. Because he didnt seem at all careing at all about it. He hit me low with the stuff that was said. It almost didnt seem like the person I thought I was in a relationship with.
I feel like he have been wanting to gte out of the relationship with me for a while now because of some of the choices he wanted. I started to feel like i wasjnt good enough and that i was unwanted. I should never feel that way in a relationship and i should have left when i was feeling that way. But i was blinded but the four letter word. Well he found his way out which caused for there to be no way back in.
I dealt with alot in the relationship that i wasnt used to. I was used to people being out with me and not giving a flying fuck what anyone says so this was new. But he was different. He did care about what people said and was scared. But i said i was going to work with him on it but nothing seemed to change.
Im often asked “What are you takeing good from the relationship?” and my answer is i dont know. I can just say i was and still am so in love but as they say “All good things come to an end”. Its sad to say it but its to true. My last relationship before this one ended because of me and now this one because of me but Is is me tho or do people fail to realize that there shit stinks. Idk but i kinnda miss him, but oh well thats that. Time to work on me so i can be better for the next person whenever that is because im closed and underconstruction.

I don't like...

i dont like hurting people

i dont like brendan gill

pssh! as if! i love that boy!

lol he like that home i have away from home :)

im glad he is my bestfriends

Him. Not him, but HIM.

When I think about HIM its not that i miss what we have.
When i think about HIM I miss that friendship that I cant find elswhere.
I often thing about HIM after i here his name just once, and i get jelouse of the people that can call him a friend becaus e i can no longer call HIM that. I call him...HIM!

Its sad but its what he wants.

I keep telling myself that its for the better because he did me wrong in some ways. But that isnt me, i cant hold grudges. I forgive and forget and move on. I just wish he could do the same.

I just feel like something is missing from my life.

I got close to him more than i am with my brothers or parent.

its not easy just to let a bond like that go. Eventho he has I still cant forget about... HIM

TJP.Green eyes.

Thinking.

Sometimes I can just sit and think myself into a coma and end u just hurting myself. I hate how I know that its not good but still do it. I guess im just human.Sometimes i wonder if the bad thoughts will ever stop because the one thing/person I keep thinking about wouldn't give a shit about me, or think about me. Then that makes me feel like an idiot because it shows that it/he still has a hold on me.

Randomness

Randomness

Stuff makes me laugh! Like…

• insecurities
• bad lookin people
• fake/phoney people
• my family
• my friends
• my man
• bitches
• thirsty girls
• chap lips

Stuff makes me cry! Like..

• movies
• death
• things not going my way
• ex’s
• music
• theater
• other people crying
• leaveing people
• saying good

Stuff makes me think! Like…

• Death
• school
• life
• choices
• inependence
• friends
• degrassi
• tumblr
• facebook

People make me happy! like..

• Family-(to many to name)
• Arena-lauren, Capria, Kim, Tonya, Dalonte, Eric, Dana, Ms.Ship, Mr.Dove, Zori, isaiah, candace, Tj
• BSA-AVERY, Kevin, Cache, Tionna, Latisha, Bilal, BReNDAN, Najah, Peanut!
• Kyle! (he gets his own bullet :)
• College peeps-Brittany, Patty, Scott, Robert, rachel, Rachel, ariell, de, Pennie

i hope i didnt forget anyone..

Things. And stuff. And people

Things. And stuff. And people

A lot of things irritate me and I don’t know why. I wish I could help it but I can’t. Sometimes I feel like people don’t understand, but sometimes you have things you can’t help. I mean everyone does and its completely natural so that’s why I get mad when people get mad at me about things I can’t help.

The world and my life is filled with stuff. Stuff that’s needed and stuff that isn’t. When I watch tv a lot of what is seen is pointless stuff. When you learn about stuff in school, most likely all of that stuff that is talked about and put on the board is always needed. I need more stuff in my room just thinking about it because it Is very boring.

People are very interesting and there are a lot of different people. Nice people, mean people, weird people and tough people. People sometimes come off as something but may not be at all what they seem, because people often find the need to blend in or fit in. People always make me feel like I need to look or sound a certain way when I should just look or sound like I want. I often miss certain people and wish they were in my life but then realize there nothing I can do and its for the best. Other people help you realize that some people don’t need to be in your life. People try to mess with or talk to important people in your life when they know they shouldn’t. People hurt me and I don’t need them in my life. I say this now but I still love and miss certain people. How could I not? I go through so much and find myself because of people. So when people leave your life its hard to let go when u don’t want to.